Unsettled

Roomie, Baby and I drove over to the new apartment today. They gave us our keys and told us we could come back tomorrow to sign the lease since they weren't ready for us yet. "That's fine", I told them and ran back the car shaking the keys for my husband to see. Baby was asleep in the car so Roomie went in first to scope around and then I could run in.

When it was my turn, I ran up to the building (it was raining... oh the luck) and I instantly found that the key sticks in the door. I opened up and found that it had been freshly painted and had (relatively) new carpet.

"Nice", I thought.

I started walking through the space... smaller than I remembered, and it didn't have furniture in it yet. I paced through the rooms: "the hutch will go here... I don't think our couch will fit this, maybe over here against this wall instead?" In trying to figure out the bedroom layouts and how our things will best occupy them, I suddenly felt overwhelmed. "What are we doing?!" Oh, saving $500 a month was my left-brain's reply.

As I turned off the lights and walked back to the front to leave, I suddenly felt tired. So much work, so much effort all while offering stability for Aoife and consistent effort in school and in our normal home agenda.

This will be good, though. It will be a great community for us. Closer to school, church and our friends, this may be the change our life has been needing.

The nagging spirit in my heart came back: but it's smaller, it doesn't have Southern exposure, we loose a bathroom, a private kitchen and extra storage... this place doesn't even have a pool!

Maybe that doesn't matter this time around? We'll downsize and make room for our little family and then use this as an opportunity to springboard into the next chapter of our lives.

Now, about that front door key...